Tag Archives: how to

How to write a blog (without a computer)

Anyone following the beer-dominated drama of my electronic life will know that it’s been a bit quiet around here lately thanks to the complete betrayal of the aforementioned liquid.

Two weeks without a blog post and I might as well have fallen off the face of this corner of the interwebs, so outdated have I become.

Call me Bebo. Call me MySpace. Call me Ishmael.

No!

If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to write a how to post. So here is…

How to write a blog post without a computer (especially if you spilled beer on that computer and it is now forsaken to the Apple underworld).

1) Work it at the grindstone!

Holy PC Batman! Is that a computer you’re using day in, day out at work? Perhaps you can take a break from concatenating the shit outa that data and vlookup your blog? Your work doesn’t block WordPress? Bazinga! Oh. But it does have some skewiffiness (technical term) with the site, and now you’ve lost the titles on half your blogs? Great start.

2) Find an Internet cafe in your local area!

The amount of Internet cafes here in the East End of London is roughly equivalent to the number of drug deals I witness on a daily basis. Note however that the amount of cafes that also have computers available for use, rather than just wifi, is equivalent to the number of friends willing to come to my area on their own at night.  

3) Use Siri to write a blog!

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Siri fail.

4) use yor phon to post a block!

do you kniw hie freaking hardnot is to post a blog by tqopyety tap yapping on thos vloody tiny screwn? heave forbid you tien off autocorrect. heaven forbid you habe the fattest thimbs in the jisiness. oh god. i just wrote jidiness dodnt o?

Yes the above was legit typing. I used to love damnyouautocorrect.com but now I say THANK YOU!

5) Give up. Have a beer.

Soothe your soul with the devil that cursed you.