Tag Archives: Apple

The apple of my eye

My baby came early!

Baby Apple (as yet unnamed) arrived at 0938 on 20 August 2013, weighing in at 2.38 pounds and measuring 11.8 inches.

It was an emotional day, but I wanted to stop by and let you know that Mum and Bubs are both doing well.

I suddenly understand the plight of parents the world over, as I am convinced that mine is the most perfect baby to ever exist, like, ever. If you disagree, well, you clearly don’t know what beautiful is.

I know you’re itching for piccies, so here is the moment of crowning glory (warning: gratuitous birthing photos to follow):

PUUUUUUUUSH (your credit card this way)!

PUUUUUUUUSH (your credit card this way)!

Now I know talking about afterbirth is a bit squeamy and everyone’s got their own ideas, but I’m seriously considering some umbilical art with this lot:


However there will not be any eating of the placenta. I had a wee nibble and it tasted suspiciously like plastic wrap and cardboard corners. Instead we will be having a special ceremonial burial for it on rubbish day – you’re all welcome to attend.

Now it may be controversial to ask for input on a baby’s name, but we can’t let this gorgeous sweetums remain nameless for too long, so please vote below!


While my warm squishy feelings make me lean towards Honey Boo Boo, I also relish the opportunity to say ‘Hmm… let me consult the Oracle’ on a daily basis. If you’re not as much of a dweeb as me, just know that all the other options are all relevant in ways that at least I know!

I’m sure y’all are just dying for more piccies/posts, but now that the bundle of joy has arrived, it’s time we caught up with some of the friends we’ve been neglecting throughout the pregnancy. Geordie Shore here we come!