Haikus on London (Let’s Get Poetical)

Some of my new blogging pals* (aka people I stalk on the internet) are obsessed with Haiku, and use it for all sorts of not-very-poetic topics, such as moustaches, wees, douchebags, and other opportunities for gratuitous swearing. As I am extremely good at being obsessed with stuff, I thought I’d offer up Kiwi in London as another inappropriate haiku topic, so here goes…

The Night Sky

Oh the starry skies
Of London are streaked with gold…
Oh wait, it’s a plane.

Sad Folks on Trains

Presumed crack whore sits
With a hacking racking cough.
Is it rude to move?

Personal Space

Get the fuck out of
My personal bubble or
I’ll cut your hand off.

Trapped on Tube again
With ten thousand Londoners.
At least I’ve got friends?


But what is a Chav?
Don’t ask this in public or
You are in danger!

Local Coffee Guy (aka Immigrant Work Policy)

Architect back home
Then left Poland for London.
Now I make coffee.

Other Local Coffee Guy (aka Marry Me?)

You remember me
And know just how I like it:
Tall hot trim latte.

Seasons in the [Sun]

It may rain all day
But we hold hope for Summer.
Fuck me it’s July.

Mistaken Nationality

Australian I?
Did I say ‘thong’ for flip flop?
Just ask where I’m from.

The Tellybox

Great British Bake off
Is England’s new obsession.
I’ve never seen it.

Shamefully not so
The Only Way is Essex
So shit but good shit!

Went to the filming
Of the Jonathan Ross Show
Look I’m on telly!


Are you a Briton?
Would you like to marry me?
We could be happy.


To follow in the mad fashion of said pals*, all replies must be in haiku form. Yay!


*Including Le Clown, The Cheeky Diva, and some other carnies.

6 thoughts on “Haikus on London (Let’s Get Poetical)

  1. Pingback: These are dark days indeed my friends… | 1in12million

  2. Pingback: Nothing says Christmas like ‘haiku’ | 1in12million

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